How to understand Polish girlfriend?
Although the topic of this article seems to be showing something way the hell romantic it is not about it. It would be about much trivial things which are based on my own experience. The fact is that I am dating girl from Poland for about a year, but our dating is very special in terms of we are not living together because of reasons I am going to describe.
Mother and Daughter
I’m not sure whether it is with all Polish families, but relations of my girl and her mother seem to be really strong but absurd to some point. I will try to explain. My girl is 23 years old, but all her life she had jobs which were closely connected with her mom’s life and destination. Her mom used to have a job – to take care for elderly woman. She was doing it for about two years and my girl came to live with her mom. It would be ok, but they come from Eastern Poland (where now lives my girl’s dad and brother) and mom has found the job in Southern Poland. My girl has found a job there as well and this is the town where we got to know each other and where our relationship started.
Soon elderly woman whom my girlfriend’s mom was taking care of has died and my girlfriend’s mom has lost her job. But the son of already dead woman has proposed another job – to host guests and do cleaning work in the hotel he owns. This hotel is in the North of Poland and mom moved there. My work and my girlfriend’s work (we used to work together) was a season work, but our chief proposed us to stay for 8 months more as we showed ourselves as good workers. My girlfriend was agree and we were about to rent an apartment, even though we knew each other only for 3 months at that time. We were making plans together as it often happens between people who are in love. But after mom’s visit my girl decided to move to the place where her mom lives and work together there with her.
We argued, of course, and then there were a lot of promises. My girl had to work there at first for 4 months. Then for 6 months. Then till December. And then till March. And then till May 2019 (I write this article in January 2019), and now she says she is going to work there for a year more.
I see her mom decides everything for her. But my girl feels also comfortable to live with mom. Probably. Because she is more often and often says to me that she is sick of that work and bla bla bla. She says it almost every day. She is even kind of depressed, I guess so. I even start to worry about her and at some point I feel pity for her.
I think mom uses her as worker, because for a year my girl did not even accumulated even 3000 zloty, but paid for repair works at their house, for something more, for presents for the family. I am not interested where is her money, but where the hell this money are going? For a year it is more than 30000(!) zloty she earned. I am more than sure mother is using her as one of family suppliers.
I can not say my girl anything normally, because it is her mom and she loves her, but still she understands something is wrong. We argue. I still say what I want expressing my point of view.
I visited my girl for few times and I am sure she loves me, but I feel I am slowly losing feelings towards her. She is pretty, nice, kind, but she is too childish I guess. She is younger 9 years than I am. Maybe this is the reason (or one of them).
My girl sometimes talks for days that she is going to move to me, builds plans for us both, wants a family (as she says) and then suddenly she starts asking why would I not move to the place where she lives. And she lives in a village where there is no work. And I have a work I like and very well paid. And I like where I am, why should I move somewhere? I also think her mom wants to use me as one more family supplier. I am not even close about doing this. Hell no.
I am interested why my girl never studied anything she would like to except for 3 months of culinary college (mom’s decision). She likes design and architecture, but she never studied it. Why that mom does not want to let her daughter be happy with the guy she loves, with job or studies she would like to do? How she could be so damn selfish?
Her mom always says “Best wishes” to me through my girl, but I doubt it is sincere.
I told my girl I am sick of such situation. We were arguing about this all many times. But this time I said I am going to live my life and it is better for us not to be together. But she was disappointed. Three times more I was saying this during same month, but she is quiet for day or two and then she tells me she can’t live without me. I feel I have feelings to her as well, but I am not sure for how long I would be able to wait. I feel I would like to have more decisive and serious girl who is not as dependent on her mom. Damn, she is not 18, she is 23 first of all.
I already told my girl we can communicate, but if I meet some girl more closer here where I live and she would like me I am probably going to give us new a chance, because I am not sure what is going to be with us, because she does not decide anything in her life. But my girl keeps calling and writing me from time to time as if everything is ok. Must admit I feel the need in communication with her as well, but this feeling is less and less strong every single week.
I still believe if we are thought to be together we will be. Fate. :))
As about me, I have descent job, I have also passive income, in a year I can get citizenship of Poland, I speak few foreign languages, I look good, I come from intelligent family, I guess I am ok.
Are there any Polish girls here who could give me some advice in comments? I would be very grateful.