My name is Sergiy and I was born in Ukraine. Polish roots and Polish labor market brought me to Poland. I studied foreign languages at the University in Ukraine, but I did not attend Polish language course there, so I should have learn the language myself and most of it – in Poland. I am telling about language because it is one of the most important things in communication with the representative of different culture. Some would say that Polish women speak descent English and there is no need to learn Polish. Well, my Polish wife did not speak English at all, the only language she knew was Polish language. Later she took a course of English course because she needed it for work, but still it was not the level of English which could enable for us mutual communication. So, in Poland I was already for 2 years and by this time I tried myself in many fields – I was working as physical worker, as the translator, as office worker, as HR manager, as sales man and some other minor things. I have met my wife during work in the restaurant.
There is a stereotype that Polish women like to choose representatives of West for husbands and look in that side. Maybe some of them do so, but my opinion is that according to labor migration and being abroad for long time many Polish girls socialize there and within the time find boyfriends (future husbands) among locals – just the same as I have spent pretty much time in Poland and started dating with Polish girl who became my wife in the future. So, it is not true that Polish girls look only to the West in search of husband, for Polish girl it is important that man was interesting to her first of all, then – took care of her, was loving and attentive and did not disturb her develop herself (did not limit her freedom). Yes, man should have descent job and bring income, but it does not necessarily has to be tycoon. In my case I had my own business on the Internet at the time I have met my future wife, but my business was too small to provide me with descent income and I was working in the restaurant and investing part of my salary to this business. For my future wife I was usual guy from Ukraine who came to Poland for labor migration, she did not knew I was fluent in few foreign languages, that I provide business on the Internet and also about my future plans of self-development, but still she was eager communicate with me and we started dating a little later. Later she told me that she had bad opinion and bad stereotype about Ukrainians, until she met me and friend of mine who was also working at the same restaurant – she looked at Ukrainian with new open eyes.
On the internet and in real life I see many examples when the husband or boyfriend is Ukrainian and the wife or girlfriend is Polish. This means that Polish girls accept being with foreigner if they feel good with him and they do not really care about his nationality.
I am married to Polish girl just for one year. This is way too short to give some advices to other people, but I will just share my observations. What do’es and don’t’s expect for you if you are foreigner and your wife is Polish woman?
For Westerner Polish women would seem much less emancipated than local women. For Ukrainian, Polish women seem more emancipated than Ukrainian, because Ukrainian girls still like to sacrifice themselves to boyfriend or husband, to be obedient and listen to him in everything. As Ukrainian guy I don’t like this feature in Ukrainian girls. Polish girl treats her equally and it is great to spend common time with her, to have discussion, to argue sometimes. Sometimes she pisses you off that much you get insane, but such emotional explosion usually helps both to feel alive and ends happy with kisses and apologies. Polish woman does not afraid to show her personality, to openly say what she wants and she demands personal space, personal time and time for self development. Some would say Ukrainian women are family oriented. Yes, they are, but Polish women are also very family oriented, they want to have family, children, but at the same time they never forget about themselves, about their personal development and about what they really want from this life – they go to their goals.
Being with Polish woman means you have common plans as the family, but each of you has time for yourself as well. In Ukrainian family usually man and woman have common budget. In Polish family there is common budget for needed things, but there is separate budget of every member of the family.
Being with Polish woman you have to be prepared for sharing house duties and you have to be active guy. You should have personal goals, tell your wife about them and achieve or not achieve these goals, but you have to try and to act. Such life tempo will never get you bored or sit on the sofa for days. The same with work – you should work as hell, if you earn enough it is good, but you have to get a little more. If you decided to have rest – you should be fully here and at this moment with your wife.
My Polish wife likes surprises – even if those are small one. Like when I cook rise with vegetables or bring her favorite herbal tea to bad or when I make her massage. But what I must say, if Polish girls accepts – she wants to give it back. If I made her great massage and she was relaxed for half an hour she would always propose to make massage for me. If I made her surprise on the kitchen or have bought her flowers when I came back home after work she would necessarily order me some gadget I was dreaming of or something I like – for example, monopod of memory card for my camera.
For haters who might say I have married Polish woman to get permanent residentship or something like that I will disappoint you. I have documented Polish roots and before our marriage I have already had card of permanent residence. I just love my wife and would always try to make her happy, to bring us both pleasure from common living and common self development.